We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
