i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
