Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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