Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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