ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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