I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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