This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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