She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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