Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize