If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
