So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
