But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
