arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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