She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
