nut hugger
I hate all girls vehemently.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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