Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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