Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've blown a few things in my day
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
