Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
