Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
