Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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