You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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