Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
