Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
