he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was born a porn star she said
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
