4 words: hood of his car
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it glows. i had to have it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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