i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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