I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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