he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
