I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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