Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
