I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
