I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
