It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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