His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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