so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize