For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
