she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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