There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize