do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
