Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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