First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
