then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
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I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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