Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think my mom watched the whole time
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
