You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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