Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's never too late to be topless.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
