'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
