And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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