Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
