Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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