so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
