I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
