She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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