I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
areolas are like halos for boobs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
