Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
