Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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