i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she smelled like a LAN party
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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