Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
