would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Randomize
