I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
