I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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