I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
