ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
