I got chris browned last night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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