I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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