I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
