so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
