I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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