I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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