you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
