Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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