quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ketchup is God's man juice
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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