you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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