This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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